Hello! If you stumbled upon my page from Facebook or another site, welcome! You can get to know more about me and what you’ll find on The Resplendent, here. And, if you like this post, feel free to check out the follow-up called how to submit to your husband or this honest letter to my husband in our first few years of marriage. Are you a mama? You just might like this letter to new mamas or this post about how heavy motherhood can feel. And before you go, don’t forget to find me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. I’d love to connect with you, and I hope you’ll stick around. Or don’t. I’m not the boss of you.Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands.”
And dare I mention the next verse? The one that says “For the husband is the head of the wife.”
scoff. scoff. eye roll. head shake.
Either you’re doing it, or you’ve gotten that response. Right?
I know I have. A million times.
This is one of those verses that non-believers cling to when it comes to easy ways to shoot down the Christian faith. Because how dare Christians… no, no… how dare GOD tell women they need to submit, to let men control them.
Here’s the problem. THAT IS NOT WHAT THE BIBLE IS SAYING. And all it takes is 5 seconds of reading a little further to see that.
Because, I have heard time and time again how women, and even men for that matter, cannot believe people would willingly agree to this. They can’t believe that women would willingly stand before their friends and family, and vow to submit themselves to the mercy of their husbands. And nothing has frustrated me more than friends who cling to this verse as an excuse to deny that nagging in their hearts. That nagging voice that’s telling them that they already know there’s more to the story, but as long as they don’t search for it, they can pretend it doesn’t exist.
So, let me barge on in for one second and clarify for you. Let me tell you why this is not degrading to women, why it is not offensive, why it is not God’s way of exhiling women to a life of servitude to their husbands, and why I love submitting to my husband.
Because of the part that says… drumroll please… “Husbands, love your wives, AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH.” (Ephesians 5:25)
Notice it doesn’t say, take advantage of them, belittle them, and gosh darn it, make sure they always keep the house clean. No. Instead, it instructs husbands to treat their wives as Christ treated his people.
And do you know what Christ didn’t do? He didn’t demand that his people make him sandwiches, he didn’t talk over them or with condescension and spite, he wasn’t physically or emotionally abusive, and he didn’t expect them to clean up after him and deliver him a beer and the remote when he walked through the door after work. Oh no. Instead, he washed their feet. Their dirty, swollen, stinky feet. He brought food to the hungry. He healed the sick. And most importantly, he DIED for his people. Even when he didn’t deserve it, he willingly gave up his life. For me. For you. For the church.
And in Ephesians, right after the verse to wives, it tells husbands to show their wives that same selfless love that Christ showed.
So yes, I love submitting to my husband. And I don’t know about you, but I am glad to be a partner, a helper, and a companion to someone who loves me like that. Someone who puts me before himself. Someone who cherishes me, values my opinion, and loves me for me. Someone who would never purposely do anything to hurt me, but everything to help me. Someone who seeks God first.
And when you think about it like that, submitting doesn’t sound so much like submitting after all. To me, it sounds like a blessing to be able to love, respect, support, trust, and encourage someone who is committed to looking out for my best interests, for my family’s best interests, and ultimately, giving everything for me.
**As a follow-up to this post, many have been asking what submitting to your husband actually looks like in the day to day. You can find my response in this post on How to Submit to Your Husband**